I've made a tumblr, so you can follow me on there.

itstuesdaysomewhere.tumblr.com

I won't be blogging on here anymore because I want something new and I this will be the beginning of a new chapter of my life. So I suppose in theory that is the end of a chapter too, so this is the end :'(

Goodbye xoxo

black eyes, i don't need 'em.

blue tears, give me freedom.

black eyes, are behind me.

blue tears, will never find me now.

i dont know how or why but i suddenly don't care anymore.

Thinking of making a tumblr :/

i will. i won't. i can. i can't. i would. i wouldn't. i could. i couldn't.

if only i would. if only i could.

I wish i could skate :/

Lets be happy. It's time to be happy. Come on be happy. I want you to be happy with me. Lets go.

"The biggest mistake you can make is to drift from someone you once had the time of your life with."

like this very much- http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=549507

"Some friendships, no matter how hard you try, never recover the joy they once had. But if you feel pain of regret or remorse when you think about a lost friend and do nothing about it, you'll never know what might have been."

"I've learned that things change, people change, and it doesn't mean you forget the past or try to cover it up. It simply means you move on and treasure the memories. Letting go doesn't mean giving up, it means accepting that some things weren't meant to be."

Wow, pretty much sums up my previous posts!

I NEED LESSONS ON HAPPINESS

"We always thought we'd look back on our tears and laugh, but we never thought we'd look back on our laughter and cry."

Unknown.

Happy happy happy?

Why do everybody else's lives seem so much easier than our own?

Cute if it wasn't for the crocs :)

Are you happy?

Could you be loved, and be loved?

I hate it how when you have nothing interesting to say, you still don't say anything.

Right now, it just occured to me. I don't know if I would have wanted to be more than friends. I mean I did at some point, that point might have been more of a long straight actually. But the point is, talking to you now I feel like none of that other stuff happened. Like I was frozen and now I'm back and its all back to normal. Its quite a nice feeling. I laugh because I realise how stupid I was, thinking you were ignoring me. When actually you were just giving us space so it wouldn't be awkward. You even told me that but it didn't sink in. If we were meant to be friends, a mistake wouldn't have stopped us. I see that now and finally, I think I might be on the road to happiness.....if that shits even real.

At times during the day I think I know the answer, and how I'm feeling. But then I see a photo, your name, a memory. I forget the previous thoughts and think, do I really know how I feel. The answer is no. I know I'm not going to be with you, and I know that I don't feel for you the way I did. But there is still something that makes me look at your page, reread your letter and stare aimlessly at photographs. I think I have moved on, but I'm not sure whether that little piece of me still attached to you will ever go away, or if it will always be there. I guess only time will tell.

Today you really made my day. You proved to me you still want to be friends. It's only a small thing, but it made me happy.

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself.Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant.Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible.You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.” - Bob Marley

We have to stay alive to see how the story ends.

I want you to want me

I need you need you to need me

I'd love you to love me

I'm begging you to beg me

Words are flying out like

endless rain into a paper cup

They slither while they pass

They slip away across the universe

Pools of sorrow waves of joy

are drifting thorough my open mind

Possessing and caressing me

"DO YOU WANT THE TRUTH? THERE IS NEVER A DAY IN MY LIFE WHERE I’M NOT SCARED. I’M SCARED OF NOT SUCCEEDING. I’M SCARED OF NOT FALLING IN LOVE. I’M SCARED OF NEVER BEING A PART OF “THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER” BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I’M MOST SCARED OF? I’M SCARED OF FINALLY GETTING EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE EVER WANTED. I’M SCARED THAT THE MOMENT I HAVE EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER WANTED, THAT IT COULD ALL BE TAKEN AWAY FROM ME. THERE COULD BE NOTHING WORST THAN KNOWING THAT THERE IS SOMETHING OUT THERE BETTER, EXPERIENCING IT, ONLY TO LOSE IT AND NEVER TO OBTAIN IT EVER AGAIN."

- adam bautista

:)

life is like a book. every part of your life is a different chapter. but each chapter means something. everything happens for a reason and if one chapter goes wrong, then we will be that bit more wiser for the next. you were a big chapter of my life, but now i know not to fall so hard for someone who’s word i don’t have. everybody makes mistakes, but making mistakes are about taking chances. sometimes they work out, but other times they don’t. but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take them. if something is meant to be, its meant to be. some things aren’t, thats why we have to accept what isn’t and move on. just like i’m trying to. it may be hard, but we have friends for a reason. if they’re good friends then they will get you through anything and everything. you just have to learn to let go. forgive and forget.

My Goals

-stop dwelling on the past

-move on

-let people see me for who i am

-allow people to get to know me

-stop over analysing everything

-stop wishing for what i don’t have

-allow fate to do its work-alone

-grasp every opportunity given

-be a better friend

-have fun

i’m gonna hold my head up high. i’m gonna live like never before. even though it was you who put the smile on my face, there will be someone else who will be able to. i don’t want to lose you, but if moving on means i will, then i’m sorry. i can’t do all the work. i can’t be the only one who’s trying to stop us from growing apart. if you can prove to me that you want my friendship then yes i will tell you whats going on in my life, but otherwise i won’t.

i enjoy myself when i’m with you. i never get tired of your company and you are a really special friend that i hope i will never lose.